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FGM and Rags
 
December 11 at 01:47
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To the Mattresses 12-10-05
I hope this offends no one, we all partake of this activity, it's just that we all don't share it with the world........
Looking back to those hospital days, which really are pretty blurry, thanks to the pain drugs and the pain itself, I did spend my 55th birthday at the hospital. I view all birthdays that end with a 0 or a 5 to be landmark years and should receive extra special celebrations. So, looking back to that day, what made it special? I consider it to be a stinky birthday, since it had been 4 days since I had had a shower or washed my hair. FGF and FGD tried to clean me up a bit, but I knew I still smelled badly. There were just too many holes in my body that were leaking and they created their own odor, nothing that you would want to bottle, that's for sure.
When you are in the hospital and especially after surgery, the nurses need to pay close attention to what goes into your body and what comes out and then document it all for your permanent files that will follow you for life. Up to now, there was nothing going in except for the cans of stuff that were going into my feeding tube. But, everytime I attempted the bathroom, my cc's had to be recorded and inspected. By Sunday, my birthday, the concern now turned to B.M.'s Had I had one? asked everyone who entered my room. No, sorry to report, pushing in any way was too much of an effort and didn't interest me. Well, this is serious business, you know, and in addition to the stool softeners that went in the tube, I was offered more help. Without too many details, the good news was that I was able to make a small deposit that afternoon. And there it was, the highlight of my birthday, my family was cheering me on, Yeah, Mommy had a poopy! Did I get rewarded with a nice birthday dinner? No! How about a nice chocolate birthday cake with 55 candles? No! How about a few M&M's, like when I potty trained the girls over 20 years ago? No! What I got, was a small bowl of industrial tasting lemon jello. Hmmm, a birthday to remember.
The next day I did get to go home. I wondered how Rags would greet her Mama, who was so different from the day I left for the hospital. I think she was afraid when she saw me, my face was pretty much a triangle, with my neck being the huge base and even that was compounded with bandages. The trach tube was still in, but if I put my finger over the hole, I could talk, not my old voice, but I could make noises, which made Rags' eyes bug out of her little head. I could tell she had done some bonding with FGD while I was gone, and that made me happy, although a little jealous that I was being replaced. As time went by, she got better with me and turned into my little lap warmer and nap companion.
Life became easier in my own home and having my own bathroom. Some people are funny about that, and I am one of those people. Leaving home and my own bathroom, like for vacations throws my whole routine off. It has always been this way.
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FGM and Rags
December 11 at 02:03
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
I would wager to say that there are others out there that understand what I am talking about. When I use the bathroom, I have to allow enough time, and I also have to have something to read. I attribute my bathroom time being the reason that I know about all the health concerns of the day, along with the best recipes and diets. In other words, the bathroom is where I do some extensive magazine reading. And as a loyal pet, Rags is in there with me. She curls up in the corner, and enjoys a little nap.
As just a little review of my procedures, you will recall, that I came home with an incision that went from one ear to the other, holes from 5 drainage tubes in my neck, plus the trach tube and the feeding tube in my stomach. Okay, back to the story. So, the first time I attempt that bathroom visit, Rags, naturally, joins me and takes her spot to prepare for her nap. Now, give some thought to what happens when you use the bathroom, it starts with a push that originates in your neck, and works it way down. So, I try to relax, and then focus on that first push, and much to my surprise, my body whistles! Rags, jumps up and looks at me with that cocked head that goes from one side to the other. I push again, and the same thing happens, a whistle howls out of my neck. Poor Rags, she didn't know what to make of it all. Needless to say, I gave up, as I was not making any progress.
To compensate for my condition, I ended up wrapping a long towel around my neck, and then holding a pillow tight against my stomach. With all holes temporarily closed up, I was able to achieve my goal.
I am happy to say, that I am doing much better in the bathroom department and that is certainly progress that I am grateful for!
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Petey and the Wigglebutts
 
December 11 at 02:26
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Oh my, Barb...I don't know what to say...only that I take my hand held solitaire game to the bathroom with me. And we know about feeding tubes around here...Angela now has a Mic-Key, so no long cumbersome tube hanging out. I think the cans of stuff taste much better by tube than by mouth..or so I get the feeling from Angela. And we do know about stool softeners...sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. I feel for you...but you do have something that has never happened around here...so I guess we could say you are unique...whistling instead of the usual grunts that I hear  . Maybe you could join Petey and the Wigglebutts and whistle along.
Gentle hugs and what color scarf would you like after the first of the year?????
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Maureen, Hamish and Maddie
December 11 at 04:44
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
One thing about being very ill, it sure takes you back to basics. Things we might have taken for granted before just have to be done in different ways, and what a celebration when they work! Rags must be thinking that these goings on are all very mysterious! I can just see the look on her face.
You are doing great, Barb. Your'e an inspiration to me, that's for sure.
Love and hugs from Maureen, Hamish and Maddie xxx
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Kelly O
 
December 11 at 08:05
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Ah Barb, thanks for a few morning chuckles. Yup, bathroom reading rules ;o)
Glad things are improving, esp in the BM world!
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Lynda and the Minkies
December 11 at 09:00
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Hehehe.....Barb, you had me howling just imagining Rags getting such a shock at her whistling mum !!! Too funny....so sorry your birthday celebration hinged on a BM, though !!
XXX.
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Cathy and Thistle
December 11 at 09:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb they say these things build character, just imagine what a character you now are.LOL I applaud your fortitude and hope things keep getting easier. Just remember one day when you are eating cake and making up for all of this, we will still be laughing with you. hugs from us all
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Jewels & Samuel MacTavish
 
December 11 at 11:02
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Surely every household has it's own library where you can lock the door!!!!!
Jewels
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Mary, Kelsey and Furby
December 11 at 11:02
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
thanks for the update Barb,
I can just picture your family cherring you on on the potty, then you coming out anf them saying, good girl. FGM went potty!
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Fran
December 11 at 11:46
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
hahaha Barb, I remember that day in hospital, when I called. Eveyone was so happy that you had acheived your deposit for the nurses! I admit I was taken aback. Hello....How is Barb today? She Pooped!!! Okay....but how is Barb?...haha...thats when we had R first laugh together. and heard each others voices for first time. ;) Just goes to show....what a body needs to make us happier, is a dog in the toilet with us. or 2 or 3. heehee!
So glad things R working out!
Fran
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Jodi, Logan & Katie
December 11 at 12:00
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Glad that you have Rags to oversee everything. Hope each day gets better and better.
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Maddie Wilie Emily
December 11 at 12:04
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
The things we take for granted like being regular doesn't become a priority till it throws us off.It's funny how our terriers have to come where ever we go.Mine all pile into the bathroom with me too.
Hope every day you continue to get better.And hugs to little Rags for being at your side no matter where.hehe Our little loving companions aren't they great.
Hugs
Maddie Willie Emily
*** Sandra ***
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Geri & Emma
December 11 at 12:48
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb- so good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor. I can relate totally. I had surgery several years ago and they weren't going to let me home til I met the poop test. Under normal circumstances I need to be in my own home. I also wondered how I was expected to "perform" when all I had eaten for 4 days was jello. Finally they gave up and sent me home. All it took was a poached egg and a big cup of black coffee- works everytime.
Continued good wishes for you!
Geri
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BOB
December 11 at 15:35
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Well done Barb, keep reporting when you can.
HUGS JANET XX
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June & The Fl Boyz
December 11 at 13:16
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb, good to hear from you and happy all is going well in the 'potty department'.
I know they make quite a deal of having a move when you are in the hospital. Sorry but I can't go on demand, I have to have some motivation (like a nice cup of coffee !)
You are such a trooper and a wonderful inspiration to all of us.
Gotta love our dogs, they hang in no matter what !
Take good care of your mom Rags.
hugs and prayers, June & The Boyz
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Janie, Chip, Mulligan & Clover
December 11 at 13:16
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Oh Barb, my sides hurt!! You know how to put a spin on the most mundane things... Know exactly what you are talking about. On our way home from vacations, we have to fly that last 20 or so miles. It seems my internal system has it's own GPS and knows when I am getting towards home. Your strength will prepare me for my time when it comes, and it will come for each and every one of us. I love you...
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Lily & Sir William & Boomer
December 11 at 13:58
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb,
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying..I love your progress reports..I used M&Ms too with my kids...I am so very glad to hear that you are doing better..at least everyone wasn't saying "what a good girl you are, going potty like that" what a way to spent your 55th!!!! I'd ask for a redo in a few months and have that chocolate cake with the candles too! Please continue to update us..I think about you often..
Love,
Linda & Allen
Lily, Sir William & Boomer
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LAMBCHOP
December 11 at 14:37
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
This is really serious business. When Al was ill we even marked "it" on the calander....Cute little notations "BM-PM" or BM-AM"...makes people wonder when they happen to look at the calander :O
Paws to you
Lambchop & Nan
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The Oregon Girlies...
December 11 at 14:37
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
I can just imagine how you felt to get that off your mind Barb. Great progress report, I probably shouldn't have, but I had to laugh too.
xxxxBetty and the Girlies...
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Max
December 11 at 17:14
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Oh Barb, I am rolling my eyes, things really go back to basics when you have a big operation, 4 days of jello are not the answer, LOL! I am like you, too. Oh dear about the whistling, that would be a shocker, glad to hear that you've mastered a new technique at the age of 55. Hugs to our friend Rags, we bet she's a good companion and hugs to your family for helping you. Keep on healing! Hugs especially to you, xxxMarianne and Maxxx
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john / irene Maxwell
December 11 at 17:18
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Thanks for the update Barb We are still sending you lots of healing Prayers
john / irene Maxwell
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Barney Rubble & Miss Betty
December 11 at 21:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Oh Barb you did make me chuckle...
I confess to being a magazine reader and have a big pile of People in the bathroom!!
Healing prayes sent your way.
Love Bridget x
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Ruth & The Mississippi Girls
December 12 at 01:43
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Love the updates.
Hope the reading is going well along with the healing.
love and Kisses from Mississippi
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Paula and Xander
December 12 at 04:38
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Great to hear from you Barb.
Thanks for the update. I did have to chuckle at your description of the whistling Mom. I can just imagine Rags.
Glad things are slowly improving. Your always in our thoughts.
Love
Paula and Xander.
xxxx
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Betsy and Wick
December 12 at 11:23
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Sounds like you had a pretty bad birthday Barb! Lemon Jell-O?! YUCK! Just picturing Rag's face when she heard your neck whistling brought a smile to my face. We hope things have gotten better for you in the whole BM department and we can't wait to hear your next update. Take care!!
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Sue & Booker
December 12 at 14:00
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Instead of Whistler's Mother, you are just "Whistlin' Mom"...I can't even IMAGINE going through all that - just to 'do your business'! I truly admire your attitude and love the humor.
Hugs
Sue & the boys
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Lynda and the Minkies
December 14 at 14:03
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Hehehe...good one, Sue.
XXX.
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Sandi and Teddy
December 12 at 15:44
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb, I think you are doing so well, to be able to share a bit of humour with what is an extremely rough time for you. Hang in there, we were thinking of you.
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Jordana, Charlie, and Jackie
December 12 at 16:06
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Thanks for the update, Barb. You have a great writing talent. I'll never understand why hospitals only seem to use lemon or lime jell-o. Makes me shudder.
Hugs,
Jordana, Charlie, and Jackie
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Tracy & Boys
December 12 at 19:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 12-10-05
Barb, you're so cute...we LOVE you! You're a funny girl.
We are keeping you in our prayers, as always.
P.S. Thank you for the beautiful card, too. Did you get ours yet?
Love Tracy,
Big Hugs, Snuggles & Kisses from Dakota & Micah
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ED
December 13 at 17:37
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If laughter is the best medicine
then dollface is as healthy as a horse! I came in to see what so dang funny, and she tells me, tears streaming down her cheeks, "FGM whistles when she... " Well, we all know how common and vulgar dollface can be.
I must admit, I was quite intrigued by whistling "poops," but I much prefer to read about them than witness them first paw.
dollface and I wish you continued good bowel movements. And for Heavens sake, keep telling us about your progress. dollface thinks you have a best seller on your hands!
ED
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