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FGM and Rags
January 11 at 12:43
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To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Hey, FGF, put on a pot of coffee, we have to tell our friends what happened next, after our night in the ER. Yes dear, anything you say, dear,.................. You will hear people tell you when dealing with a serious illness, that there are good days and there are bad days. The marathan day of chemo and the ER goes down in my history as one of the bad days. As you recall, we left the ER at midnight, with a belly full of hot coffee, given by the local plumber, no I mean ER doctor. Morning came, and I found myself sleeping on the couch, too many bathroom visits to make it up to bed. Early, the phone was ringing, and it was Peg, the nurse that deals with feeding tubes. She had read the report from ER saying the tube SEEMED to be running freely, and she didn't really believe that so she wanted to know for sure. I told her we hadn't begun any feedings at home and I wasn't sure yet. But, as you may have guessed, when FGF tried to 'hook me up' so to speak, it was a no go. Peggy made appoitments for the following morning, Thursday with CatScan and she personally would be there to oversee the process. As she suspected all along, the feeding tube was not clogged, but had come out of it's track and was no longer feeding into my stomach. Solution? Replacement surgery. Now, she had to get a doctor to approve and set up a time schedule, and it seems when Peg speaks, doctors listen. To give her more credibility, when she saw my sweatshirt that says Scotland on the front, she asked if I was from there. She said several years ago she was there and taught classes in feeding tubes pic lines and other methods for entry into our bodies. In the meantime, I had to report to the Radiology Department for a simulation of how that would work. The week before, I had to have a cradle made for my body, which I lie in everytime I have radiation, and also a mask for my face, which was one of the more intimadating experiences I had to endure. Not something for anyone slightly claustrophic or who deals with panic attacks. But, back to the practice session, I settled into the cradle, which is kind of like styrafoam the size of your body, and then the mask. The mask was not so scary now, since it did not have the weight it did when it was wet and molding to my face. They showed me how things would work, I am lying on a narrow bed, in my own personal armour, and this big machine rotated around my head, stopping in 9 key spots to zap me with the radiation which will burn out any nasty cancer cells still lurking in that neighborhood. Okay, this isn't so bad, I can do this. I am scheduled for 32 sessions, everyday of the week, until it is over. The thing is, the more radiation, the more burned my neck, and inside my mouth will become, and eating will be a definite problem, which is why I had the feeding tube put in place weeks before, and also reason for it to be working well, as I will depend upon it shortly for lots of things.
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Penny
January 11 at 12:57
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Mia and I don't know you very well, but we feel so honored that you are sharing your journey with us. God bless and may angels keep you safe until you are 100% well again.
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FGM and Rags
January 11 at 13:07
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Before we left that department, we had the good news that Peg had everything set up and I would be going into surgery that afternoon, so don't eat anything! We went to her office and she filled us in on what would happen next. She said, I would also be having a port installed under my collarbone for easy access to my body. Apparently, I have some crummy, skinny, deep veins, and everytime they have to get my blood, or put in a IV for the chemo, and other things, it turns into a big painful project, you know, like I need more pain. So now, I will have this little golf ball sticking out of my chest and it will be much easier in the long run, or so the people with the needles say. They still have to poke me there with a needle, but they don't have to search for veins. We were then sent down to the basement for the procedure to begin. It sounds weird to be in the basement, doesn't it? Maybe this is where the surgeries that have gone bad are repaired by friends of Frankenstein. It doesn't matter, we had a little room with a bed and a TV to wait in, much better than the ER! After a few hours, I moved down to the operating room, where I got some great meds that put you to sleep, but didn't. Here, they cut me open in the tummy and then the chest in two spots, but didn't really feel it, I thought I was awake! The first thing I remember was several nurses adjusting the machines so they could see inside of me and then a doctor came in and was looking at my veins in my neck. He was asking the nurses if this was my carotid vein, and why was this vein pulsing so much and other questions. I keep thinking, don't give this guy the scapel, he doesn't know what he is doing! Luckily, the real doctor appeared, and I found out the first one was a student there observing. On with the show. The next thing I remember was thinking there was a mother cat having kittens in the corner, which was rather odd. I thought dogs would have been more appropriate for MY dream. The surgery was nearing an end, and I was so excited to find this wooden box next to me, it was like a treasure chest, and when the surgery was over, you could pick any piece of jewelry you wanted. I picked a beautiful amethyt bracelet for my reward, and for the life of me, I don't remember where I put it, as it didn't come home with me. Maybe the mother cat is wearing it as a collar! Now the really strange thing here, was when the surgery was over, they told me to get up, and I did. I walked right off that gurnee and into the other room where my clothes were and got dressed. That was some magic mojo potion they use in the basement! From there, we went home, only 10 hours today, but still I was tired and pretty sore. When I saw the feeding tube, it was much shorter than the first, and hopefully won't be in the way so much. The port entry was also bandaged up and I really couldn't see the damage for several days, but the pain was there. That was Thursday, and I didn't have to be back
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FGM and Rags
January 11 at 13:11
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
until Saturday for bandage changes. So, we had Friday off, that was nice. Then Saturday back to the hospital, bandages changed, and I felt so good I took the FGF out for lunch at Red Lobster, and I ate a lobster and crab legs myself. It really tasted good. By the end of the day, I had the first inklings of the rash from the chemo which would haunt me for many days to come, but that's another story. For now, I had until Monday to rest and relax and get ready for battle on Monday.
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Janie, Chip, Mulligan & Clover
January 11 at 13:31
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Geeze Louise, what an ordeal. As always you have made it into an adventure for us to travel with you through. Blessings coming from the Bama Bunch and me...
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Petey and the Wigglebutts
January 11 at 13:38
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
That is unbelievable...Barb..you are so strong...I just can't imagine. My offer still stands if you use that kind of formula. Just let me know. gentle hugs, Carol and the Wigglebutts ready to attack those nasty cancer cells...suits are on order.
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Barney Rubble & Miss Betty
January 11 at 14:49
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Can't start to imagine how much pain you are in, But boy are you a brave fighter.
We love to read your updates, your courage is amazing.
You are in our thoughts often.
Bridget, Barney Rubble and Miss Betty x
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ED
January 11 at 15:12
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM, when the pain gets bad or you're feeling really down, picture this image in your head:
A long, deep beach, beautiful dunes, sea oats bending lightly in a soft, salty breeze. A pelican skims over the surface of the calm sea. Tiny sandlappers dance with the gentle waves -- when the waves come in, the bird runs toward the dunes. When the waves retreat, he runs back to water's edge. The sun starts its day, peeking over the horizon to warm your skin. The sky is streaked with ribbons of pink and orange. Gulls call to each other. Otherwise, all is quiet. FGF and Rags come to sit by you and watch the sunrise -- FGF on your right and Rags on the left. The Lord's put on quite a display this morning, just for you, FGF and Rags. He's using the sky as His palate. Pinks and oranges give way to brilliant golds and warm yellows. The sun brings a bright blue sky with it, pulling the sky from its pocket and flinging it out just for you. Breathe deep and slowly with the ebb and flow of the calm ocean. Slowly, deeply, calmly. All around are friends you've never met, but who love you anyway. Surround yourself with our love and concern. Warm. Calm. Legions of terriers bark softly and play in the sand and water. Breathe slowly, deeply, calmly. Nothing can hurt you here.
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.
Hang in there. And watch out for the baby docs -- and I don't mean the pediatricians.
Mary Alice and ED
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Lynda and the Minkies
January 12 at 12:19
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
How lovely, Mary Alice. XXX.
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R gang
January 11 at 15:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM, You amaze us! we thank you for taking us on a journey so personal. some of us may also have to experience this someday.
We send prayers for your complete recovery.
Love Fran R gang
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BOB
January 11 at 15:38
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Thanks for taking the trouble to keep us upto speed, take care and thinking of you every day.
HUGS JANET XX
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Jeni, Bonnie and Flora
January 11 at 15:56
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Thank you, Barb. I feel truly humble in reading of your courage.
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MacGuyver
January 11 at 16:05
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Hi Barb...good to see you posting again. You are always in my thoughts and I am holding you close to my heart praying your treatments will be successful. I am amazed by your wonderful sense of humor and humbled by your courage.
Sending you warm wishes, happy thoughts and lots of healing prayers.
love Sandi and MacGuyver
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Sue & Booker
January 11 at 17:18
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM, Your courage amazes me. We are learning so much while you bare your soul (and a few body parts) to us. I hope your sense of humor continues to help you.
You are an amazing woman and I am proud to be your LM. Hugs to you from Sue & Booker
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Max
January 11 at 17:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Boy Barb, what we never knew about hospitals and what goes on in the basement. Glad you are more comfortable now and that the feeding tube is resolved. We are with you all the way, whistling, coffee-percolating, eating lobster, whatever. We're happy to hear you went out to eat, we love lobster, too. Hugs to FGF, he's doing a great job (will you get a car after all this, I wonder?), and to the FGDs. And many hugs to you, our dear FGM. Thanks for keeping us updated, we're holding you in our hearts. xxxMarianne and Maxxx
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Annie & E Gang
January 11 at 17:54
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
You are truly one very Brave lady Barb and we are very honoured to know you although we have never met also..Just soo amazing.We send all our love and many prayers for you to continue to get better each time and look forward to hearing soon again. Love and kisses from us all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Geri & Emma
January 11 at 18:42
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Barb- you are a truly amazing woman. Your courage just astounds me. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. May your wonderful sense of humor help make your journey more bearable.
You are always in my thoughts.
Geri
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Cathy and Thistle
January 11 at 19:19
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
What is there left to say, it has all been said, your courage, determination, and your writing skills, amaze me so much, we love you and are thinking of you constantly, hopefully these days will soon pass, then the healing begins.
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Schooner and Annie
January 11 at 19:28
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Barb you are one amazing lady. I cannot even imagine, even with your discriptions. YOu are an inspiration. Hang in there, and we are with you all the way. Thanks for sharing. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx Lots of sniffiekissies fwom Schoon and Annie too.
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Sambuca & Isabella Martini
January 11 at 19:48
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM, your courage and strength is unbelievable! That is what will bring you through this journey! We are always thinking about you and glad you could update us and WOW, even eat lobster! WTG!!!!
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Lily & Sir William & Boomer
January 11 at 19:49
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Barb...how wonderfully you write..you keep us right there with you..you are sharing every thought with us...I want you to know that I am copying every post and putting them all together and once you feel well enough..I want you to do a little editing and we need to see if there is a way to get these mattress stories published..this story is being told so honestly that someone else would benefit from your strength...
Thank you so much for letting us be a part of this with you..we'll share any pain with you that we can in order to make you well again...
Love, Linda
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Lynda and the Minkies
January 12 at 12:22
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
A wonderful idea. XXX.
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Mary, Kelsey and Furby
January 11 at 19:58
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
wow Barb! I remember my Mother going for chemo and boy am I glad she got her doses by injection. She would go 4 days for one week every 6 weeks. Remember she was 76 when she did hers. There are tough days, but just like you she was brave and strong. That is one thing I take from her going through that. Be strong, we know you are, be tough, we know you are, besides you are a teacher, that's tough enough. Remember we are all here and try next time to picture all these terrier warriors barking at the cells and anything that will harm you.
You have a great husband, he reminds me of my Dad when mom went through this. He'll be there for you through it all and your daughter too, to support you no matter what. We love you and are there in spirit...
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Anne H Robbie & Duncan
January 11 at 20:20
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Barb
I've been thinking I'm having a really bad year. You know the kind -- new administration at school who want to change things for the sake of change. Principals who've forgotten what it's like in the classroom. On top of that -- some stress on the homefront with our new business venture.
Then I read "to the mattress" and your other posts and realize what REAL courage is and what a bad year REALLY involves.
Like everyone else has said -- YOU ARE AMAZING and your courage and humor has helped many of us as well as you. There is definitely a book in here.
Our thoughts and best wishes are with you, FGF (who sounds like a peach) and your sweet FGD.
We're all here behind you!
love Anne Robbie and Duncan --terrier warriors
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Lynda and the Minkies
January 12 at 12:23
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Hope the new business isn't having too many issues, Anne. We'd love to see it doing well. XXX.
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Anne H Robbie & Duncan
January 12 at 18:06
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
The business is going well Lynda -- thanks for your concern. I'm afraid I'm having a hard time adjusting to the new lifestyle -- no one ever home, NO free time, crazy hours. Totally different than when DH had a "regular" job!
Anne xxx
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Lynda and the Minkies
January 13 at 16:05
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Oh I see.....but I guess if you stick with it he can take a bit more time off soon. XXX.
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Scruffy and Ruby Tuesday
January 12 at 01:58
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM, your sense of humour and courage is amazing. I just want you to know that we're thinking of you, and pulling for you, up here. big hugs from Robyn and the Prairie Dawgs
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Betsy and Wick
January 12 at 08:02
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
You have been through quite an ordeal, haven't you?! Your attitude towards everything is going to make all of the difference though. Thanks for the update Barb and we'll keep thinking of you throughout all of this.
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Lynda and the Minkies
January 12 at 12:17
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
Blimey, Bob...the bed set-up sounds most peculiar and you need 32 sessions...yikes !! I wouldn't have wanted to be aware during the operation either, I must say ! I had to chuckle at your odd hallucinations. And I'm a bit confused-I thought if you had a feeding tube you couldn't eat "proper" food, or were you messing about the lobster ? I really hope the remaining sessions go very quick. XXX.
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Carey and the LWMDs
January 13 at 23:51
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Re: To the Mattresses 1-11-06
FGM You are an amazing women!
Carey
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