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To the Mattresses
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FGM and Rags
 
Apr 04, 2006 at 17:25
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To the Mattresses
I know it has been a long time since I have written, I am beginning to think that my writing brillance was a result of all the painkillers! It has been seven weeks now since I finished the terrible treatments and I feel kind of strange. As long as I was in treatment, I felt like I was fighting the disease. Now, I feel rather helpless, just waiting to heal and hoping that the cancer is gone for good. I spend a lot of time thinking and reviewing my life and lessons that I have learned along the way. One of my favorite lessons that I have learned I want to share with you today, and see how these thoughts apply to your own life.
About fifteen years ago, when I was not teaching, but a full time Mom, I enjoyed many jobs done at the school, like PTA president. One year, another Mom and I went to a fancy hotel in downtown Chicago for a PTA convention. I don't remember too much what we did, but I do remember a luncheon we attended that featured a motivational speaker. His message was clear, and after all these years, I remember the points that he made. As the years have gone by, I have passed his words on to my own children, as well as those that have been in my classroom. Today I will share his life lessons with you, and maybe you will pass them on to your friends.
Lesson #1: Life is not fair. He said if you have even gone to the funeral of a child, you know this one to be true. At the time, I hadn't, but of course, since then we have lost sweet Andrew and his words echoed in my mind. But just think in the course of day, all the things you see and hear about that aren't fair? We try to teach our children to do the right things, and the consequences will follow, but it doesn't always work out that way. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I immediately thought, well, that's not fair! I don't fit into any of the risk groups for this type of cancer. I am not a smoker, a drinker, nor do I live with secondhand smoke. I remember looking at the doctor, and saying it wasn't fair, and he agreed, but none the less, it was there. There was no time to discuss the fairness, but to acknowledge the fact that it was there and the important thing was to make a plan to get rid of the dreaded disease. As I sat at Loyola, waiting for my turn for chemo or radiation, I saw lots of people who also were suffering from a disease that was not fair for them too. The children, all the children that were dealing with cancer and painful remedy. Nothing about that can ever be "fair" in my point of view.
Now, think about your own lifes, I am sure you too can think of times when you felt that Life just wasn't being FAIR. Sometimes the only thing we can do is accept it, deal with, and then move on.
Lesson#2 Never give up. The speaker said, our jail system is full of people who have given up and tried to do things the wrong way. Stealing from people who have worked hard, taking the short path instead of working for what they think they are entitled to.
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FGM and Rags
Apr 04, 2006 at 17:52
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Re: To the Mattresses
When I was about three quarters of the way done with my treatments, I was pretty sick, and just getting up and getting my weakened body to the hospital was a chore. I had two sweet girls who gave me my radiation treatment everyday, and my room was the farthest away from the waiting room. On many days, I stumbled getting down that hallway, and then one of the girls would meet me and hold on to me then do the same after the treatment. There was a point where I would immediately get sick right after the radiation and just make it to the sink that was in the room. I always felt so badly that these young girls, not so different from my own girls, would have to witness this scene. One day as we were walking back to the waiting room, the girl looked at me and said it is so important that you don't give up now. I looked at her and thought, what? give up now? I knew that was not an option, in fact, it never even occurred to me that I could give up. She said this was the time when they lost many patients, they would miss an appointment, then two, and pretty soon their next call was to hospice because the cancer had won. So that lesson of Never Giving Up, was truly one that I abided to. It's so easy to give up, but in the long run, where does it get us?
Lesson#3. Play Your Strengths. Find out what you are good at and make that a part of your life. Everybody is good at something, so it is important to find out what your strengths are and make the most of your talents. This is a hard one for most Moms, because, whether you want to on not, you usually have more jobs to do then time to do them. This is a time when perhaps you have to pool with your friends, and each help the others with what you are good at. I can remember back to those years when I was the PTA president, and we had this fundraiser every month involving the sale of cupcakes at lunch. We would ask so many Moms each month to donate 2 dozen cupcakes and then we would sell them to the children at lunch. At that time in my life, I was committed to detail, and when I made cupcakes, I felt like I had to decorate them with a full landscape of frosting. I had to make a picture on each cupcake and it took me hours to complete. Did the kids care? I don't think so. Let's face it, when you are in second grade, you just want the one with the most frosting! Or little girls would buy mine and want to bring them to their Mom, except the trip home in the backpack would completely destroy the frosting! So, I learned that my strength here was really wasted time. So from that time on, I did the calling to ask others to bake, and I stayed out of the kitchen!
So, many years later, I ask myself what are my strengths? I don't know how the rest of my life will play out, so I feel like I need to invest my time in what I like and what I do best. After all these years, I am not really sure what my talents are, but, I know I will be looking for those strengths! I know I have to get back to my
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FGM and Rags
Apr 04, 2006 at 18:00
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Re: To the Mattresses
students, because I miss them. So my wish for all of you that may be reading this, is to follow your dreams. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize what those dreams are, but don't wait until it is too late. Look for the goodness in each day and each person that you meet. It's easy to find the negative in a person, but it takes someone special to find the goodness in others. And as you find their goodness, so will you find yours.
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bob
Apr 21, 2006 at 16:50
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barbs you are so right, it changed my outlook on life, nothing matters now, and a rainy day is a good one, but you do have to think positive, you wouldnt be human if you didnt wonder if the cancer will return, its in all our minds for those who have battled with it, but you have to get on and enjoy life and keep it well at the back of your mind, you will survive just keep looking in the mirror and saying those words and enjoy everything around you.
HUGS JANET XX
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Kelly O
 
Apr 04, 2006 at 18:14
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thank you Barb, I'm going through a little 'issue' at work and these lessons put it in perspective - I think it will also help a colleague.
I'm very happy to see you up and about, and starting to eat again. Hopefully, scrumptious chocolate in some form is just around the corner for you!
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R gang
Apr 04, 2006 at 22:34
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb, you are as always an inspiration to us. your teaching abilitys are one of your best assets. I may be your oldest student. even at my age, we can still dream of what we'd like to accomplish. forever going on to the next phase in our lives. we do learn from each other. I guess that makes us all educators in our special talents.
"You may never always get what you want, but you're never a failure if you give it your all and do the best you can."
That is a quote from Donna Fargo in the book you gave me, Barb. 'Dont Ever Give up on your Dreams.'
Happy to know you are improving more each day.
Fran
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Lynda and the Minkies
Apr 05, 2006 at 08:49
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Re: To the Mattresses
What a lovely and thought-provoking post, Barb. I had a lump in my throat reading about the girl helping you along the hallway as you stumbled. I hope you'll know very soon that all this was worth it and you've kicked the crap outta' the nasty sickness.
XXX.
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Janie, Chip, Mulli &Clover
 
Apr 05, 2006 at 09:48
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb, thanks again was waking me up. I walk around in my daily grind and do what I think is important and really "dirty floors" isn't that important in the scope of things. I need to get myself out and do something that matters. Everyone I know who is a cancer survivor has come away with the best attitude for the future. Then we who have escaped thus far waste so much time on mundane things. I will certainly try to do better my friend. Thanks for another eye opening adventure...
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john / irene Maxwell
 
Apr 05, 2006 at 17:51
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thats a lovely Post Barb we hope you are getting better every day and will soon be Fit
john / irene Maxwell
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Suzanne, Tobie & Mandie
Apr 05, 2006 at 19:49
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thank you Barb for just being you. I have all your posts from "to the matress". I am saving them because they are a true inspiration to me and I think they may help someone else some day. I think you could be an excellent writer. I think some of those people you passed in those hallways could very well benefit from what you have written as well as those who are just starting on the journey you have come through. Life isn't fair is it? I have felt that for some time. Unfortunately we don't have the luxury of determining what happens to us all the time. If we could I sure can think of many things in my life that would have "not" occurred. But we do the best we can and don't give up, do we?
Take care Barb...I will do some soul searching myself to see what I have overlooked as my forte' God Bless and Get well soon.
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Sambuca & Isabella Martini
Apr 05, 2006 at 19:53
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thanks for the great post FGM! You've made me sit back and think about a lot of things!
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Jeni, Bonnie and Flora
Apr 05, 2006 at 20:49
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thank you, Barb. I really appreciated the story about the baking. When my daughter did ballet there were those get togethers where some mothers went to extremes and made fancy cakes and marzipan animals that must have taken hours. I was always so busy, I'd buy chocolate marshmallow biscuits on the way there. And guess what always disappeared first? Yes, the ones I bought. I stopped feeling guilty after that.
Your stories are inspiring.
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Jack
Apr 05, 2006 at 21:28
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Re: To the Mattresses
Beautifully written. What an inspiration you are. I pray this is all behind you soon and nothing but a bright-happy new start at life ahead!
Cora
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ED
Apr 06, 2006 at 11:31
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Re: To the Mattresses
All solid advice and solid lessons learned the extremely hard way. Hang in there, baby! dollface and I are sending you the best vibes we can!
ED
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Geri & Emma
Apr 06, 2006 at 12:28
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb- you are amazing. A true inspiration. Continued good thoughts coming your way.
Take care, Geri
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Kelly O
Apr 06, 2006 at 12:54
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb - I'd like to thank you again for sharing. I sent it yesterday to my co-worker who is currently undergoing her third battle in as many years with ovarian cancer. She happened to come in today and she really appreciated it - she had tears in her eyes as she told me.
Very important lessons in life.
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linda, mattie and zena
Apr 06, 2006 at 14:59
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Re: To the Mattresses
FGM, you continue to be just that. your words are such an inspiration, and always thought provoking. i have printed this off to read when i need a little motivation. take care and we do hope for clear skies ahead for you. GOD BLESS YOU.
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Petey and the Wigglebutts
Apr 12, 2006 at 11:29
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Re: To the Mattresses
FGM...what can we say but... Thank You!!!!!!
We were looking at Petey and Sissy's First Anniversary adventure. You were so wonderful in making the dinner and Haggis. We had such fun reading it all over again and thinking of you. You are such a wonderful and special person.
Now carry on FGM...the orders of the day are to keep smiling and basking in the warmth of the TC thoughts and prayers. That is all!!!!!
Hug and slurpies!
Your terrier troops in Iowa
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E Gang
Apr 12, 2006 at 17:05
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Re: To the Mattresses
What a lovely post Barb abd the readings are so true,Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us and giving us inspiration,Bless you and Prayers that you are feeling better as each day passes.
Love and kisses from us all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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The East Coast Westies Three!!
 
Apr 12, 2006 at 19:05
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb,
What a truly inspiring post as all of yours have been. You have such strength and it will stay you. I am so proud to call you my friend.
It was lovely hearing from you and we look forward to more posts from you..there is so much we can all learn from your wisdom.
Have you worn the scarves yet?
Love,
Linda & Allen
Lily, Sir William & Boomer
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Tracy & The 3 Musketeers
Apr 13, 2006 at 01:39
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Re: To the Mattresses
Barb,
You are truly an amazing woman! You've given me lots to think about. God bless you, my friend.
Love,
Tracy
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Maureen, Hamish & Maddie
Apr 16, 2006 at 20:27
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Re: To the Mattresses
Thanks so much for sharing this wisdom with us, Barb. They are messages that withstand the test of time, as you have seen. I think one of your great strengths is that you are able use your life experiences to grow more, and to shine a light for others too, so that they might learn from you and grow too.
Just as the words of that speaker are still being shared years later, so your posts will go on inspiring people in need for years to come.
Thank you.
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