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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 08:54
(New York)
Post 338

I need dog people Vote for this post

I'm a long time member here, but haven't been active much of late.

I joined here 12 years ago, when I got Molly. This beautiful girl has been the love of my life since. I've had dogs my whole life, but I've never had a dog with the spunk, personality, and charm that this sassy Westie exudes.

The last few years around here were hard, as I watched dogs pass away - dogs who were members here when I joined. I knew that meant my time was coming. But I would quickly push away such thoughts. After all, Molly was so healthy! No chronic health problems and living large.

I'm an only child and my mom died 7 years ago. My dad had Alzheimer's, and the last 6 months were brutal with him. He was not happy, he was in declining health, and I had to make all sorts of horrible decisions. He needed 24 hour supervision so he had to go into assisted living and he blamed me for that most days. I know he was angry, and he was suffering, and he literally was losing his mind - and although he took it out on me, it wasn't me he was really mad at. But still, it hurt.

Dad died November 5th. People came pouring out of the woodwork to offer their sympathies. I was inundated with cards and phone calls. And you know what's funny? His passing was really a blessing. He was 88, he was in horrible health, and he was in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. He was miserable.

You know what else is funny? Up until the very end, he knew Molly. He loved that dog, probably more than he loved me. Actually strike that - I know he loved Molly more than he loved me. And I'm ok with that. My dad was a dog person, and it's pretty clear I am my father's daughter in that regard.

In the aftermath of dad's passing, I noticed Molly's gums were inflamed. She'd had some teeth pulled in September so I thought maybe it was an infection from that.

We took her to the vet's and she said she prescribed antibiotics, she too thought it was a lingering infection from that nasty bad tooth she pulled.

It didn't respond to antibiotics, so she went back in last week. They put her under again to clean it out and see if maybe a foreign body got stuck in there. And I got the call that felt like a knife was plunged in my chest. It appears to be oral cancer. We are currently awaiting the pathology report, but it appears to be a foregone conclusion. The gums in that area are not healthy. It hasn't even been a week, and they're already turning grey and swelling up again.

She has recovered from the soft tissue work and was her happy playful adorable self this weekend. She was sniffing on her walks, there is a bounce in her step I haven't seen in a long time, and she's been playing ball with her daddy.


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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 08:59
(New York)
Post 339

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Sorry, hit enter too soon.....

Anyway, it appears her days are numbered. And it's breaking my heart.

I just don't know if I have the strength to go through this again. I was just bouncing back from all the aftermath of dad, and now it's Molly.

I need to be surrounded by dog people. I need to be with people who understand that I love this dog more than almost anything else on earth. I need to be with people who won't judge me when I say this is going to be harder on me than losing my own father was.

We're getting her in for a speciality consult later this week. I'm hoping to hear it's "just" confined to her soft tissue and maybe radiation will buy us some time.

If it has already started spreading, I won't put her through anything too invasive.

Anyway, my apologies for the lengthy post. I'm beyond heartbroken, and I just needed to be surrounded by people who understand.

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Deb, Emmie, and Angel Kelsie
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 09:06
• Deborah
(Pennsylvania)

Post 8106

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Bless your heart Patti, I know what you'e going through. My Mom had Alzheimer's for 6 years before she passed and now my Dad has dementia--not a lot of difference there. Like your Dad, mine blames me for his being in a nursing home. His health is failing due to heart issues and it can really get to you after awhile. Add to that, we lost two beloved Westies--our first, Jaimie, to complications from diabetes and then Kelsie to a blood cancer. All I can tell you is to have faith and lean on those who love you. We're here for you when you need us. My prayers are with you all and I pray that the doctors can get ahead of Molly's cancer.
Love, Deb, Emmie, and Angel Kelsie

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Jeanie & Annabel
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 09:30
• Jeanie
(Indiana)

Post 3421

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Oh Patti....I am so sorry.  I lost my best friend to COPD in June, and then I just lost my Jolly last month. I , too am so sad and depressed, and the holidays make it even worse.

Please e-mail me at maggiesmomma@msn.com  We can talk, and hopefully help each other cope.

Hugs,
Jeanie and Annabel

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Iver and Sailor
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 10:47
• David
(Washington)

Post 6197

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Patti I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother and Father
I lost both my Mother and Father 8 years ago
It was a blessing for my Father to pass away
He had emphysema for 11 years before he finally succumbed
to that awful disease
My Mother passed away of heart failure
9 years ago I lost my heart dog Iver to Cushing's Disease
It was a blessing when he finally passed away
I got the priviledge of holding in my arms as he took his last breath
He was very ill.
He had gone blind from his immune system attacking him
and then he broke his back and lost the use of his back legs
I miss him dearly
I think about him every day

I am so sorry to hear Molly has oral cancer
I will pray that the vet can help her
and that radiation treatment will cure her
I know exactly how heartbroken you are Patti
It was heartbreaking to me to see Iver so sick
knowing the disease would take his life
He was only 13 when he passed away
God bless both you and Molly

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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 12:53
(New York)
Post 340

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Thank you so much David, Jeanie, and Deb. All 3 of you are people I "know" from the years on here.

David, I remember Iver. I can hear that you understand what I'm going through, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for responding.

Deb, my heart goes out to you too. Sounds like you're still living the part of the hell that finally eased up for me when my dad passed on.

Jeanie, I missed that sweet Jolly passed on. I am so very sorry. I'll send you an email shortly.

My gut tells me we're probably down to Molly's last few days. The area is growing quickly, is turning grey, and seems to be spreading up into her maxilla. She is such a sensitive girl, and being in the hospital and having procedures done to her really upsets her. I just don't know that it makes sense to put her through what I think would have to be done, to try to attack this. And again, my gut tells me we may be able to slow it down and prolong her life, but I'm afraid that prolonged life will have too much suffering in it to justify this.

As of this second, she's not in any discomfort. But when that changes it may be time to let her go.




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Iver and Sailor
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 15:06
• David
(Washington)

Post 6198

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Patti I'm sorry Molly is getting worse
When you let her go you'll giving one final act of love
I'll pray for you and Molly

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westiegirl3
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 13:04
(Georgia)
Post 4885

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I am so very sorry and sad to read this!  I understand just how your heart is breaking and how out of control you must feel.  Love on your little girl and share your hearts and love.  Love is the very best gift we can give.

I pray for you and and your little Molly.  And my girls and I also send lots of love and hugs your way.  It's good to be around people who understand exactly what you are going through.  Please let us know how you both are doing.
 
Belle, Treasure, Olivia, and Debbie




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janet
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 13:42
• JANET
(United Kingdom)

Post 2289

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Hello Patti

my heart goes out too you at this time. having survived cancer myself lost my mum too it and 3 dogs.      keep strong and chat too your doggy friends they will help a lot.  take care thinking of you.


love jan x



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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 14:36
(New York)
Post 341

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Just found out her oncology consult is this Wednesday at 1:30.

I am grateful to everyone here, for letting my cry here and to be surrounded by people who understand.

Most people automatically understand when you say your father died. But I've noticed fewer people seem to automatically connect to the pain you're feeling when they hear it is "just" a dog.

What I'm going through with her is so much worse than what I went through with dad. One second I'm hopeful that they'll be able to buy us some more time, but then I instantly realize more time is probably going to mean pain for her. And then I start to think it's wrong of me to cause her suffering, trying to keep her here for me.

Will see what we learn on Wednesday and will try to hang in there until then.

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Mark
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 14:49
• Mark
(California)

Post 832

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Patti,

We're all dog people in the TC, you are not alone. You're always welcome here, knowing that we CAN understand what you are going through.

Evelyn and I are sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Mark



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Sir William
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 15:51
• Allen
(New Jersey)

Post 1320

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Patti

I know all too well that life sometimes is the most painful for us. It is so hard to see our beloved doggies suffer and it is not fair. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Molly.
We hope it all works out well and that only good news follows. I remember you guys and hope you can let us know how you and Molly are doing.

Love Sir William ^--^ & Allen & Boomer at the bridge


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NimbySue
Member PageMember Page
Nov 30, 2015 at 17:01
(United Kingdom)
Post 15502

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Patti,Please know my heart is with you on what you are going through,My father died the same year I lost Eric and I can tell you...I missed and loved my father so much but when Eric died and my other puppers its something else...the heartache has never left me...I know my father would understand as he had and trained dogs most of his life....he came back  to say Hi a year after he passed away on Christmas morning....Ellie let us know he was standing by the fireside!...I had Eric close to me in my life longer than I had my father in terms of years...all my dogs I have lost I miss so much its hard to describe ..they will stay with me always till the day comes,as I believe we are joined together again ..you mention your father blames you....that is not him speaking,sadly dementia takes over and words can come out cruel to the ones loved ...I am so so sorry to hear about Molly and her cancer..tears are flowing here as what does come to mind more so is my Dear Little Gremmie who had been over bred with...after many tests, the day she was due to go in for my vet to open her up ...her eyes were jaundiced that morning..my vet called me and told me she was full of cancer and it had gone to all organs...he kept her asleep for all time...I am still full of tears and remorse at never giving her that final goodbye and hug..it upsets me so much still but I have to think of the life and love I am giving to the darlings I have now in health...Gremmie would want that I do know ...just as we gave her a life and love from her breeding days...I send Big Prayers that with hope and positive thoughts that the vet can keep Molly with you still..but if it is that it is not to be  you must know that she will always love you and be watching over you and know also that some of our puppers have given signs that they have crossed the Bridge  and pain free ..Its a pain none of us want to go through and think sometimes ..to lose another pupper our hearts will break altogether but we have to get through and know round the corner ...there is always another waggy tail just wishing and waiting for another loving mummy to give them a forever home ......Please know we are here for you anytime and thinking of you and Molly....All My Love Hugs Annie and Gang xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Diana
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 01:10
(Australia)
Post 4030

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I am really sorry to hear about Molly and while my parents are alive and well losing my 2 girls in 7 1/2 weeks was more unbearable as we were together all the time (apart from work). So I understand exactly where you are coming from. I must admit my brothers who can be a little insensitive when it comes to me and the chix as I called them have been really nice to me during this time. Unfortunately you will always find those that say 'it's only a dog' but I just chose to ignore them.

I will be thinking of you and Molly and you will know when her time has come.

Take some photos while she is still relatively well, it's a nice keepsake. I made the mistake of not taking many of Hannah (I took one but she was asleep) as we were grieving Kelsi's loss not knowing we would lose Hannah too. 

Diana, Matilda (Kelsi & Hannah - little angels)

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Elliot
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 05:44
• Kay
(Oregon)

Post 1830

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Patty,   My heart goes out to you at this time.  I think all of us here that has lost a pup understands what an emotional ride you are going through.  We connect with our pups at a different level than we do most humans through constant companionship.  I'm sorry you had to experience the effects of Alzheimers with your Dad and understand how you would feel more relief than sorrow with his passing.  With Alzheimers the real person passes before the body does.  Interesting that he still knew Molly and hopefully she brought him comfort.  

When my Elliot was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 6 the first 2 Vets I went to said it would be best to put him down since he could not be treated for his allergies by steroids,his pancreas was already damaged and now diabetes.  The 3rd Vet offered hope and I was able to give him 2 more years.  The constant worry about his welfare & not knowing if the time was right to take him to the Vet for the last time hurt so bad.  I bent Betty's (Oregon Girlies) ear for hours so understand your request for dog people.  

Looking back I realize I gave ME 2 more years and not him since he felt ill quite often during that time.  Your decisions will be hard and the worry great. We are here anytime you need to talk. Hugs to you, girl

Forever Elliot's Kay  

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Toby and Suzie's Mom
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 08:52
• Mary Ann
(Virginia)

Post 1959

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My heart goes out to you and your family, I am sooo sad to hear this. As the others have said, please come on the TC any time.  We are all here for you as we have all been thru similar times.  We know only too well the heartbreak and pain of losing both human and doggie family members.  16 years ago, I lost my Dad suddenly after a short battle with pneumonia/mengiatis.  6 months later my only brother died  from kidney failure.  At the time, I had my first Cairn Nikki.  She was very attached to my Dad - she loved him.  She was close to 16 at the time and going blind, deaf and was incontinent..  I firmly believe that God let her stay with me to help me thru the deaths of my Dad and Brother, then called her home so she could be with my Dad.  It was having her to take care of that got me thru that time. And, helped prepare me for her to cross the bridge shortly after.  I believe  that my Dad was there waiting for her and they are together in a comfy chair, she's next to him getting her ear rubbings and he's reading his favorite book.

When it's Molly's time, I'm sure that your Dad will be there to scoop her up and they will be off on a wonderful adventure. 

Please check in here, we are always available.


Mary Ann, Toby and Suzie



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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 09:26
(New York)
Post 342

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I'm crying again. Just reading all the heartfelt messages here brings me a comfort that I can't explain. I feel surrounded by people who know how badly this hurts, and I don't feel compelled to justify about losing my mind over "just" a dog.

Thank you, so much, everyone!

I'm hanging in there, sort-of on auto-pilot until we see how tomorrow's cancer consult goes.

Thank God for the Terrier Club. Mark, bless you for keeping this place going. I swear the kindness here is about all that is pulling me through right now.

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Casey
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 12:25
• Theo
(Canada)

Post 2831

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Patti, my heart goes out to you. So many of us here have gone through similar lives over the years and can relate to what you are feeling.  I made the decision to care for my father after Mom passed away. Years later, I bawled for days when I had to bury our dear little westie Max, he was 14 and had renal failure. Our vet kindly came to our home to put Max out of his suffering.  

Max died in July and in Sept my Dad passed and despite the fact I was heartbroken, the pain was not the same. Every pet I have lost has brought me grief that seemed to never end, but my grief for people that I love is totally different. I do carry the usual 'I should have' about what I didn't do, especially toward the end, but people can tell you what ails them and how they feel and one can direct their health care in the right direction. But, with animals I suffer greatly with guilt feelings of not giving them my best, no matter what I did... 

My father died of renal failure as well, the last three weeks were horrible for him and one of the last things he said to me was " I'm glad Max didn't have to suffer like this to the end", I'll never forget those feeble words and his voice. I truly hope the day comes soon when we can be as caring and loving to our elderly and sick and set them free from pain. That is never an easy decision to make, but watching a person you love wither away in constant pain, one can only feel relief in the end, and that relief is more for them than for ourselves. 

Being in our shoes is the only way others could possibly understand. When we lose a terrier member here, it is almost impossible for me to put words of comfort together as my grief is so deep because I feel their loss while reliving my own. So many replies here have brought tears to my eyes.

We are here for you Patti, and I truely hope Molly has much more quality time with you. Sending prayers that the vet visit goes well tomorrow. 

Sending you lots of virtual hugs, Theo xox


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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 13:34
(New York)
Post 343

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Theo, you just made me cry. But in sort-of a good way, I think. I don't know, it's hard to tell anymore because all I do is cry.

Thank you, so much, for the response. Everything everyone here has said is helping more than words can explain right now. You are all making me feel understood and a little less alone, and every little bit helps.

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Casey
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 13:58
• Theo
(Canada)

Post 2833

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

I also meant to say that your fathers anger was more than likely about his frustration and you were just the handy one to relieve in with

Also, our pups never hurt us while people do, even if not intentional... how can there be a comparison?


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Toby and Suzie's Mom
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 16:01
• Mary Ann
(Virginia)

Post 1960

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Our furbabies are NOT, "Just a dog" - EVER!!!!  They are our family and as it has been said "A dog is the only chance you have to pick your relatives!"  Sooooo true!

I always trust my dogs.  They know who is good and who is not.  Mine "tolerate" most folks, but I can always tell who they really love.  Case in point, my Annie was very friendly and liked everyone, BUT, if she was sitting on someone's lap and I sat down, she'd always come over to me to pick her up.  ONLY 3 people did she not leave to sit with me.  That told me that they were up to her standards and the best.

Trust your darlings!!


Mary Ann, Toby and Suzie




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Sandi and Maksim
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 19:26
• Sandi
(Pennsylvania)

Post 9127

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Bless your heart. Like many others here, I know what you are going through. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and hugs,
Sandi and Maks

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Caesar and Murphy Latham
Member PageMember Page
Dec 01, 2015 at 21:03
• Louise
(Illinois)

Post 4925

Re: I need dog people Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

Patti my heart goes out to you and Molly.  Our fur babies are very special and a very important part of our family.  I just cried when I read your post about Molly.  Reminded me of my Murphy who I lost to liver cancer on September 7th.  I tried everything I could to make him healthy again.  He had surgery and chemo but it was not good enough and the cancer metastasized to his lungs and he stopped eating and has difficulty breathing.  It was so hard to let him go.  Murphy was a very special little boy and I miss him so and so does Caesar.  It even harder when you have to deal with health issues with a parent at the same time.  Patti we are a special group of people here.  We support each other and are always here if you need us.  Keep us posted and you and Molly will be in my prayers.  Louise, Caesar and Murphy at the Bridge

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Patti and Molly
Member PageMember Page
Dec 02, 2015 at 08:36
(New York)
Post 344

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This is such a special group of people. Thank you so much for all of the kind messages. I've read, and re-read, this thread several times and every time I find something else that helps just a tiny bit.

We'll see what the cancer specialist says today at 1:30. I'll post an update probably tomorrow. I know I'll cry for awhile this afternoon - because sadly, that's what I do know - but hopefully by tomorrow I'll be able to pull myself together enough to give you all an update.

She's not in any pain at the moment. It's growing though, and it's starting to bother her. I won't let her suffer, but I'm also not ready to let her go until I know in my heart it's time.

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Iver and Sailor
Member PageMember Page
Dec 02, 2015 at 11:40
• David
(Washington)

Post 6202

Patti Vote for this post Reply to this Message Reply with a quote

I'm glad you have found so much caring here at the Terrier Club
When my dear Iver passed away everyone was so sympathetic
and caring that I had to read and re-read their messages
over and over again.
The messages helped me in my great sadness

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Casey
Member PageMember Page
Dec 02, 2015 at 12:31
• Theo
(Canada)

Post 2834

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Patti, please know we will all be with you in our hearts as you attend your meeting today with the oncologist. 

sending strength to you and healing power to Molly and her doctors,
Theo xoxoxox 

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Skye
Email
Member PageMember Page
Dec 02, 2015 at 18:10
• Kelly
(Canada)

Post 4904

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I'm so sorry Patti.  I've been absent for awhile as the last years have been hard on me. Lost sweet Nana in 2008, mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2009, I changed jobs a few times (and then lost my dream job thanks to cutbacks!) and over this period,  had five miscarriages with six losses, losing any hope for human children. So I know how important these fur kids are to us. I lost mom in 2013 and although dad is still around,  he's busy with a new life and family. 

Anyway,  it was just so hard getting attached to these TC pups (and their owners, we've lost a few!) and watching them pass away. My heart breaks every time. 

I hope to hear good news but know we are thinking of you.

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Moshe & Levi
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Dec 03, 2015 at 07:47
• Yoka
(Florida)

Post 14127

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So terrible sorry to read about your dad and your sweet Molly. Will keep you and Molly in my prayers. Hope the very best for your Molly. Remember we are here for you.
Love, Moshe,Levi and Yoka
Xxxxxxoooooo

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